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Spectator Writer Lands Prized Summer Job As Denny’s Waitress

March 8, 2016 Anonymous
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COLUMBIA DAILY SPECTATOR HEADQUARTERS – Reaching what is likely the pinnacle of her career, Columbia Daily Spectator writer Meghan Goodman, CC ‘17 landed a long sought-after summer job as a waitress at a Denny’s in Newark, New Jersey.  “I can’t wait to get started,” the junior chirped.  “I hear the tips are way better than the tips Spec ever gets.”

“I’m most excited about the company culture,” Goodman continued.  “Even after seeing an obese man in a ‘Make America Great Again’ hat drench his beard in a Grand Slam, fewer employees cry than at Spec headquarters at 3 A.M.”

As of press time, the Spectator reporter was also looking forward to the opportunities for career advancement at the restaurant chain.  “After my experience here, I couldn’t believe it.  With hard work alone, I could actually get promoted to assistant manager.  I wouldn’t even have to murder any of my colleagues to move up the ladder.”

In On Campus Tags 3, March 2016
← On The Oppression and Silencing of Jews at Columbia UniversitySponsored: Circle J Service Organization Opens Columbia Chapter →
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